I have continued to give thoughts of EZ and her Pi Shawls light of day. I have been talking to an online knitty friend (okay I have met her once and plan to meet again), and she nudged my thoughts of unventing shawls in the right direction. In the direction I would have taken if I stopped to think clearly instead of racing in, and struggling, which is what I normally do. I looked around at what had already been done. I found lots of patterns for the most beautiful and delicate shawls. All on trusty Ravelry. I even happened upon six that were designed in memory of her 100th Birthday. They are all now nestling in my ever growing queue on Rav, hoping that one day, just one day I shall make them. I may, one day. I will try one of the two from July in the Almanac. Unless of course I change my mind between now and then.
I'm continuing with the TSJ. The construction is only very slightly different from the BSJ. I read the next section of the pattern, because I needed to. I felt confident and carried on reading it - 'translating' it. It seemed much clearer than the other night. I didn't run to the end of the pattern, I quit whilst I was ahead. Thus leaving me with confidence that when I read the remainder of the pattern, hey presto! it will all fit into place.
A night or two I mentioned, in passing, about a job opportunity that is on the horizon. It is a Bank Nurse position in a prison. When I read it, I was very, very excited. Not just that there was a lifeline to work again, but that by working it would bring in money, and the knock on effect of that would be, amongst other things, to get our own place again. The excitement has flipped on it's head and I am having a real good think through of it. At the moment, I'm more against the idea. Do I really want to work in that environment again, even though I am most comfortable there? Do I want a gentler life, that takes me in a different direction? I carry many mental scars of working within Forensic Psychiatry and a few from prisons. Every time I have problems with my asthma now, I think of how, smoke inhalation has made it worse. It is much better than it has been, granted. I was informed by a doctor that my lungs would take around two years to heal from that one incident. It's been three years now, hence asthma has improved. I hope the Letter of Commendation from the Governor to be the only lasting physical reminder of that day!
So, I'm still in two minds as to whether to apply or not. A lot of things need to be weighed up. I always used to say, that if a decision took that much thinking about and mulling over, then the decision had already been made.
If in doubt, carry on Knitting! Well, that's about answered that question for now, hasn't it?!